My life is not perfect, I wanted to scream at this person.
For hours, I walked around stewing over the comment and listing everything that was wrong in my life.
I have no childcare for next week.
I live 90 minutes away from family.
I want to stay home and can’t afford to stay home. I feel like my heart is breaking.
I live at least an hour away from my closest friends. I feel so alone here in Lexington sometimes.
I lost a hubcap! Could my car BE any more ghetto?!
Ada has a double ear infection. She won’t let me put her down.
Money is tight. Money is always tight.
I have nothing to wear.
I want to start a business. I don’t know how to start a business. Do I really want to start a business?
The dog is eating her poop again.
I went over $160 on my phone bill.
Ada had a blow out. There is poop in her hair. There is poop everywhere.
The dog won’t stop barking at me. What the heck does she want?!
Did I mention I have no childcare for next week? And even if I find it, I’m still sad. I want to be her childcare.
I don’t have any chocolate.
I ate too much chocolate.
I’m on deadline. I can’t think to write!
The truth is, my life is not perfect. I am awkward. I always have paint on my clothes or in my hair. I have nothing to talk about when I sit at the lunch table with the other girls. When I try, the words come out all wrong. I can NEVER open those produce baggies at the grocery store and I sometimes get so mad that I spaz out and look like a crazy woman, cussing out a little green baggie in front of the tomatoes. I am impatient. I am scatter-brained. I struggle to finish what I start. I hide clothes that I buy in the car until my husband isn’t home so I can sneak them into the closet. I let people walk all over me and then take it out on the people I love most. I never return library books. I sneak in another Diet Coke even though I’m breastfeeding and know Ada shouldn’t have too much caffeine. I never forward chain letters. I eat chocolate for breakfast. I have more hurts than I care to count.
So, to the person who accused me of having a perfect, little life: you were half right.
My life may not be perfect but it is poetic with rainbows and butterflies (I believe that is how you phrased it.) Because despite everything about me that makes me a walking disaster some days, I come home to a husband who loves me anyway. If I’m patient, he even opens the produce bags for me when we go grocery shopping. And I have a beautiful baby girl to remind me that God works through my weakness. I have friends and family who have helped me when the bottom fell out of my plans. Though your words hurt me, they did help me realize I’ve been feeling too sorry for myself to see all of the beauty in my life. And how will I ever teach my daughter to be confident and see beauty in her life if I’m constantly dissatisfied with my own? So thank you, anonymous critic. You’ve taught me a valuable lesson. I hope your week is filled with butterflies and rainbows too.
Today’s Inspiration:
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.'” 2 Cor. 12:9
Treat of the Week:
A pedicure!
What I’m Thankful For This Week:
Grace
Fitness Goal:
Go to Zumba one day this week