50 Ways Motherhood is Like College
on September 17, 2012 in Laugh
Happy Monday, Friends! How was your weekend? On Saturday, Ada got so excited about getting to watch “Curious George,” she actually threw up on me. She had just chugged a cup of water and apparently when you jump up and down making the sign for “monkey” after a big cup of water, it comes right back up. Who knew, right?! The only thing I could think to say as I stood there covered in second-hand water was, “That hasn’t happened to me since college.” To be fair, I was on a bus on my way to a sorority formal when I got puked on and I’m pretty sure that girl had chugged more than water but still, it got me thinking that motherhood is at times a lot like college. From always being painfully aware of your pathetic bank account to encountering know-it-alls on a daily basis, here’s 50 reasons you might feel like you’re having deja-vu now that you’re a mom:
1. You have actually slipped on a book and broken your fall on a pile of laundry.
2. Midnight is a perfectly acceptable time to start a pot of coffee.
3. When you go to a restaurant, your party is always the loudest in the joint.
4. You brag over your ability to pull an all-nighter.
5. You have been woken up by the sound of someone vomiting.
6. You are sometimes too busy or too tired to change out of your pajamas.
7. You get excited when macaroni and cheese is on sale.
8. You consider tater tots a vegetable.
9. You order Happy Meals for yourself to save money.
10. You schedule your day around watching Ellen.
11. You do laundry when you run out of underwear and in pinch, you’ll go commando.
12. You’ve been known to wake up in weird places throughout the house.
13. You’re lucky to eat once a day.
14. You spot clean your jeans.
15. You have washed your bangs in the sink instead of taking a full shower.
16. You dig to the bottom of the couch for quarters and consider signing up for medical research studies for fast cash.
17. All of your furniture is second-hand (or will soon look like it is.)
18. You save your money to go to Chick-fil-A once a week.
19. You text more than you talk on the phone.
20. You post details about your life on Facebook that other people think are boring.
21. Your camera is filled with pictures of people sleeping and making funny faces.
22. Poop is an acceptable dinner conversation.
23. You look forward to your mom visiting so she can help you with laundry.
24. You’re constantly spending your money on things you won’t be able to use in a few months and when you try to re-sell them, you only get a few bucks.
25. It’s cool to shop at Goodwill and you usually bump into friends while you’re there.
26. You have a board on Pinterest with tips on making furniture out of free milk crates and pallets.
27. You’ve eaten cereal…for dinner.
28. All of the books you read were written by a doctor.
29. You go to the library to socialize.
30. You visit your parents when gas is cheap.
31. You’ll wear jeans when it’s 90 degrees so no one knows you haven’t shaved your legs.
32. You always carry a bag other than your purse and panic if you’ve left it somewhere. That bag also weights a thousand pounds.
33. Going home to visit your parents is a weekend trip because it isn’t worth packing everything you own for a Sunday afternoon.
34. You’ve seen your best friend’s boobs as many times as you’ve seen your own.
35. Sleeping-in or taking a nap is an attractive solution to most problems.
36. You can turn anything into a game. Even sugar packets.
Photo from Repeat Crafter Me
37. You join clubs to meet new people.
38. You’re always worried about being hit by a car while crossing the street.
39. You have two piles of sweatshirts in your closet: junky sweatshirts and dress-up sweatshirts.
40. When you can’t find matching socks, you wear flip-flops.
41. Your mom insists on buying a mini-fridge.
42. You’ve cried from complete exhaustion.
43. You’ve gone three days without a shower.
44. You own dry shampoo for greasy-hair days.
45. Everything smells like ketchup or Spaghetti-O’s.
46. You go to the mall without buying anything.
47. You apply for credit cards for free stuff.
48. You start thinking about your Halloween costume in April.
49. You know where to get the cheapest pizzas.
50. Strangers stop you to tell you that these are the best days of your life and you really can’t argue.
Do you ever feel like you’re in college? How? Maybe we can get this list to 100!

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